How to break the bad habits - Nir Eyal
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| How to break the bad habits - Nir Eyal |
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BREAK YOUR BAD HABITS.
When we're trying to change our
behaviors. There are some behaviors that we want
to be experts at and then there's some
behaviors that we're perfectly fine
being amateurs at
right and on the bottom two as well
the habituate or the addict there's
behaviors that we want to
stop doing that are low willpower and
high willpower. So it's not necessarily
the person it's the behavior they're
trying to change, but I think you know you you'll find
it very difficult to become an
expert at something, if you use the
same criteria
that it takes to become an amateur at
something if your test
to become an expert in this mia
you actually won't have the grit and
perseverance needed to power through the
times that are shitty that is hard.
So most people's problems, I think when
it comes to the fitness space in
particular
is that we train like we're experts
even though what we want is an amateur
behavior right. We go to the gym and we have the mentality that we need a trainer and
fitness programs
and you know we need to no gain no pain
no gain and it's gotta hurt or it
doesn't work
and that's the expert mentality
I've written on this article you alluded
to called why fitness apps make you fat
because what we find is that when you take that mindset in the expert
quadrant
of you know I've got to figure out the
expert quadrant is all about figuring
out your mistakes and
it's got to be in some way painful in a
way or you're also you're not going to
get better
what that means is that people are doing
exercise
that they hate which means it's not
going to be sustainable not only that.
We know that when you suffer
at something
there's this phenomenon called moral
licensing that when we feel like we've
sacrificed in one area of our lives it's
like squeezing on a balloon right when
we feel like we're being good in one
area of our lives, we cheat in other areas of our life
right.
I squeeze on this side of the
balloon the other
and we've seen this phenomenon occur
time and time again, we find that when people buy green
products
they're actually less kind they're less
likely to help someone who's just fallen
down in front of them after they've
sacrificed by buying an ecologically
sound product
some of the highest insurance rates on
the road.
Today are from
a car that you wouldn't expect it's
not Ferraris and Lamborghinis
some of the highest insurance rates are
for blue
Priuses right because there's this
effect of more licensing. If we're good
in one area
we're allowed to be bad in other areas, so how does this play out in the fitness
world well
I just you know sweated it out on the
treadmill for 30 minutes and I've
you know it was so difficult and you
know I did it. I persevered and
it was so hard for me I didn't enjoy a
second of it
I deserve a Jamba juice
with 60 grams of sugar and you know
600 calories.
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Even though I only burned
what like 300 calories on the treadmill
I deserve a reward and unfortunately when bringing it back to the technology
industry
a lot of fitness apps. today only look at
that side of the equation they're only
about getting your step
counts because they're using the expert
mode as opposed to the amateur model. So we talked about the top of
that behavior change matrix right, these
do behaviors that are either low
willpower or high willpower
at the bottom of that behavior change
matrix is the don't behaviors the
things we want to stop
doing and so there again we have low
willpower and high willpower. so what I've utilized in my life is
using a technique, I call
progressive extremism progressive
extremism and the idea
is that um you know the problem with
diets and the reason that diets make us
fat is that they train our brains to
anticipate scarcity
and of course.
What you're doing when you
train the brain to do something is that
you're heightening the awareness
you're making us
uh you know these diets train us to
expect. okay I'm suffering today
but as soon as this diet ends and I'm
you know I can fit into my wedding dress
or
uh the graduation ceremony comes or
here's my goal by the end of the year, I'm gonna you know be at this weight
as soon as I free myself from that diet
and that's the problem so instead
of saying you know a diet that has this
time-based
uh, endpoint what I advocate for is
progressive extremism. so pick something that you know you want
to stop eating. in this case, if food is
what
is the behavior we're trying to change
and the criteria is
pick something that you can give up
without too much trouble, but you can give it up for the rest of
your life why would I want to do
something temporarily and then goes back
to eating the way. I used to eat that
doesn't make any sense of course I'm
going to gain the weight
I want to make a permanent change and so
I started out with the first thing that I excised from
my life
was candy corn and so I just cut them
out and say I'm never eating candy corn
ever again
and then what happened and I kept track of everything I gave up
and then maybe like a week or two later.
I'd assess and say hey
that wasn't so hard, what else could i
give up and then I would give up another
thing
and another thing then I think the thing
I gave up was no sugary drinks in the
house. okay I could have sugary drinks outside
the house no sugary drinks, in the house
ever again for the rest of my life, it's
a rule progressive extremism. so I went up this chart kind of more and
more and more things that I was giving
up
until I gave up, you know just last June
I gave up refined sugars completely
it's just not something. I do now when
okay
people have no trouble saying, oh candy
corn easy that's great but then you say
okay I'm going to give up
all refined sugars and people say oh
that's not so cool anymore but of course
that's the natural progression. what you're doing here
are you're using this phenomenon of self-image that when
you talked about self-image earlier
and how we can actually utilize it. how we
see ourselves
to boost our willpower there's been a lot of studies that show that when
people
identify behavior that they do or
don't do
as part of who they are, it becomes much
easier to resist. for example uh, if you're a vegetarian
if you're a devout Muslim if you're uh, an orthodox jew you're not constantly
asking yourself should I eat the meat or
should I have some beer or should I have
some pork
right like that's not a debate you're
having on a constant basis, you just don't do that because that's
who you are right. if I'm a devout Muslim i just don't
drink that's just
what I do if I'm a vegetarian, I just
don't eat meat, it's no longer a debate
of should i
can i is it.
Okay I just don't
right whereas many dieters think to
themselves well should I not
should I have the cake and what they're
doing is expending this willpower
resource
that over time you know there's a lot of
evidence that shows becomes depleted and
it becomes very hard. it's this constant
struggle
but by doing this progressive extremism
and saying look that's just one thing, i
just don't eat
and taking it slowly. I mean this has to
take years to uh, to scale up you're
constantly exercising
things from your life, from your diet
but for the rest of your life and it's
using that same principle of this is
just who I am I just
don't eat those things. so that that's
the shift is changing your mindset of this is something I just
don't do versus something i
can't do which you know can't mean
maybe it's flexible versus something i
just
do not do
you.
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